To Our Baby Girl

 

Dear Baby Girl, my sweet Dorian, 

Twenty-five years ago today, you were born into Heaven. My heart died that day right along with you. I prayed for you, to have you, to hold you. I wanted you so desperately. I only had you long enough to know that He heard my prayers and then you were gone. Born asleep, never to know the pain that this life holds, but to also never know my complete love for you, which grieves me to this day. 

What would you have been like? Would you have had my eyes, my hair? Would you have liked to watch the birds, too? Would you have been a bashful beauty? Or, would you have been like your daddy, blue eyes, a sense of humor, an outgoing personality, and able to speak in public? These are things I will never know. 

What I am sure of is that you would have loved to read, just as your sisters and brothers do. I think that you would have loved My Little Pony, too. Maybe. The others are three against one on that one. 

On this day of I miss yous and what would have beens, I wanted to let you know that you are still very much a part of my heart. The two weeks of grief that I was allowed to have and still be considered normal and not a mental case are long past. Saying good-bye to you has become a part of who I am. You are not here. I won’t see you again until Heaven, however long or short a time that may be. Until then, my heart cries for you. 

I love you, baby girl. Have a beautiful birthday up there with all of our family. Please hug the folks for me.  

“There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are the messengers of overwhelming grief, of deep contrition, and of unspeakable love.” –Washington Irving 

 Image Source: Pixabay

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Book Review: It’s OK That You’re Not OK: Meeting Grief and Loss in a Culture That Doesn’t Understand by Megan Devine

It’s OK That You’re Not OK: Meeting Grief and Loss in a Culture That Doesn’t Understand by Megan Devine

Wow! It’s OK That You’re Not OK: Meeting Grief and Loss in a Culture That Doesn’t Understand by Megan Devine is an amazing book! It is one of the best books that I (Suzanne) have read on the topic of grief. It deals primarily with sudden, unexpected loss, but I believe it applies across the board. Losing a loved one is heart-wrenching, whether you know it is coming or not. But, when it happens unexpectedly, it puts it right in your face just how little control we have and how unpredictable life can be.

Reading this book was like meeting a new friend, one who understands how you feel because she has been there. She hasn’t been exactly where I’ve been, but she has had the rug pulled out from under her, too, and knows there’s no putting things back as they had been before.

Ms. Devine has helped me to not feel so alone in my unresolved grief. She knows it takes more than two weeks to grieve the loss of a loved one. Two weeks, two years, a lifetime, we don’t ever get over it. The loss becomes a part of who we are.

She has also taught me that how I have handled the grief of others, though my intentions were to try to comfort, did nothing but potentially cause more pain to the one suffering. I had no idea that when I shared my sorrow, in an effort to say “I understand,” it set up a grief competition of sorts and feelings of “This is about ME, not you. Why isn’t my grief important?”, and many other hurt feelings in the grieving person. I am working on changing the way that I deal with the grief of friends and acquaintances, in an effort to not cause further pain. I didn’t realize the effect my words were potentially having because I never took it as belittling my grief when others shared theirs.

This book is emotional, well-written, and the education in grief that we all need, most especially those in the mental health field.

If you have lost someone, if you have been expected to process it on their timeline instead of your own, you need this book, if for no other reason than to find someone else who truly understands your pain.

We give It’s OK That You’re Not OK five stars and then some. It is a great book and I am thankful to have had the opportunity to read it!

We were sent a complimentary copy of this book. We are under no obligation to write any review, positive or negative.

We are disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission's 16 CFR, Part 255.

Notice: This post contains affiliate links. If you click a link and make a purchase, we may financially benefit from your transaction, at no additional cost to you. Thank you for your support.


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Book Review: Three of Cups by Kathy Wilson Florence

Three of Cups by Kathy Wilson Florence

I was a bit concerned about reading this book due to the use of tarot cards early on in it, but I am glad that I gave it a chance. It is a great book!

Three of Cups is the story of the lives of three women of two different generations. There is love, family, war, deceit, and tragedy. There is laughter and there are tears.

I (Suzanne) couldn’t put this book down. It had my mind going on hyper mode trying to put it all together, making connections between this person, this situation, and that one. It kept me wondering how the author would pull it all together for resolution at the end, and would it have a happy ending or would lives be ripped apart.

Kathy Wilson Florence is a great storyteller who weaves us in and out of the timelines and lives of the three main characters and support people along the way.

There is minimal use of profanity (and none of the major profane words) and there are no graphic intimate scenes. I give Three of Cups 5 stars and think that you will find it hard to put down, too!

We were sent a complimentary copy of this book. We are under no obligation to write any review, positive or negative. We are disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission's 16 CFR, Part 255.  

Notice: This post contains affiliate links. If you click a link and make a purchase, we may financially benefit from your transaction, at no additional cost to you. Thank you for your support.

Three of Cups
By Kathy Wilson Florence
Available 1 July 2018 on Amazon.com
ISBN: 978-0998678122


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Book Review: A Better Place: A Memoir of Peace in the Face of Tragedy by Pati Navalta Poblete

A Better Place: A Memoir of Peace in the Face of Tragedy by Pati Navalta Poblete

We would love to say that A Better Place: A Memoir of Peace in the Face of Tragedy by Pati Navalta Poblete is an excellent “How to grieve” book. We can’t because there is no such thing.

What we can say is that the author takes us through the stages she went through while coping with the sudden loss of her son from a not so random armed robbery.

While reading this, I found that there would not have been one good thing to say to this woman in an attempt to comfort her. All of the go-to things that people say, and usually mean, seemed to make her mad.

No two people grieve in the same way. There is no such thing as “Getting over it.” Poblete has found a way to help her heal, at least somewhat. Perhaps by reading this book others will see that there is nothing wrong with them. Perhaps they can see that we all grieve in our own way. Some continue to grieve the loss of a parent thirty years later and may still feel it just as intensely as if it happened just yesterday. Others may lose a child at a very young age and show little grief on the outside just a few days after the loss. This does not mean they are not hurting.

A Better Place shows us that there might not be a right thing to say to some people while they are trying to find a new normal when there is no such thing for them as a new normal.

I think the big takeaway from this book is that it is okay to not be okay. It is okay to not see the comfort offered by others. It is okay that the attempts at comfort offered by other people are not comforting to you. That doesn’t make them any less sincere. It just makes it okay for you to grieve in your own way and to heal, if possible, at your own rate.

We were sent a complimentary copy of A Better Place. We are under no obligation to write any review, positive or negative. We are disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission's 16 CFR, Part 255.  

Notice: This post contains affiliate links. If you click a link and make a purchase, we may financially benefit from your transaction, at no additional cost to you. Thank you for your support.
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Prayers, Please

We just found out that my Aunt Judy, Mama's youngest sister, passed away last night from pneumonia.  Please pray for my mama and her remaining siblings, but most of all, Aunt Judy's five sons and their families, as well as her former and current husbands.

Thank you.  Have a blessed day.





Notice: This post may contain affiliate links. If you click a link and make a purchase, we may financially benefit from your transaction, at no additional cost to you. Thank you for your support.

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Book Review: Mockingbird Moments: A Memoir by Sharon Brown Keith

Mockingbird Moments: A Memoir by Sharon Brown Keith

Mockingbird Moments: A Memoir by Sharon Brown Keith was a trip down memory lane in a lot of ways.

The author reminisces about times with her father throughout her life. At the same time, she is working through the grief of losing him. It was easy to connect with this author as this is the stage of life in which I currently live.

Sharon’s emotions filled each page and brought out my own feelings of unresolved grief.

The big takeaway for me is that we all process grief differently, even those in the same family. The grief of losing a father is, in many ways, different for a daughter than for a son. No matter which we are, it impacts the rest of our lives.

I would recommend Mockingbird Moments to anyone that enjoys reading about the lives of others and learning just how much we all have in common. Whatever we’re dealing with, someone else is going through it, too.


We were sent a complimentary copy of this book. We are under no obligation to write any review, positive or negative.

We are disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission's 16 CFR, Part 255.



Notice: This post contains affiliate links. If you click a link and make a purchase, we may financially benefit from your transaction, at no additional cost to you. Thank you for your support.
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Book Review: Softening the Grief By Joan E. Markwell, Janie Fields, Patricia Hollingsworth, and Susie McDonald

Softening the Grief

By Joan E. Markwell, Janie Fields, Patricia Hollingsworth, and Susie McDonald

Softening the Grief is a book written by and for women who have lost a child, and for those that love them and want to help them through such a heartbreaking time.

These women know, as I do, that the pain doesn’t stop just because the calendar ticks off two weeks or the friends stop coming by or calling. It is something that is in our hearts, a part of our being, until our own time comes.

This book lists many hurtful comments made by people that have not been there, that do not realize the hurt they are heaping upon an already broken heart. Suggestions for things to say instead of the usual “it happens to everybody” or “you have other children” are given. Most of the suggestions are good ones. A few, from my perspective, are just as hurtful as the original, unthinking comment.

These women and many others are members of a club that none of us wants to be in: The Bereaved Mothers Club. While Softening the Grief may be very helpful to those dealing with the loss of older and adult children, it doesn’t touch on the pain suffered by those who never got to know their children.  Those of us that have experienced miscarriage and stillbirth do not have memories of kindergarten or graduation or the other special moments with this child to lean back on. All we have is what might have been but never got a chance to be.

This book is great for the group that it serves. If you have a loved one in your life that has lost a child and you do not know how to help her deal with her traumatic loss, you will find this a good guide.

Softening the Grief earns 5 stars.  It is available if you need it and I pray you never do.

We were sent a complimentary copy of this book.  We are under no obligation to write any review, positive or negative.

We are disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission's 16 CFR, Part 255.

Notice: This post contains affiliate links. If you click a link and make a purchase, we may financially benefit from your transaction, at no additional cost to you. Thank you for your support.
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Book Review: Pizza With Jesus (No Black Olives): Finding Home and Grace Amid Hardship and Grief By P. J. Frick

Pizza With Jesus (No Black Olives): Finding Home and Grace Amid Hardship and Grief

By P. J. Frick

Pizza With Jesus (No Black Olives) by P. J. Frick is the rather sad story of one woman’s journey through grief.  It would seem that she is blasted at every turn with some new challenge.

If you want to read a book that will hit you like a ton of bricks, this is it.  We see God in every page.  We see Jesus with arms wide open.

This book is well-written and impactful.  We see how when the author, P. J. Frick, was at her lowest points, God sent furry little angels to rescue her.

When you sit down to read Pizza with Jesus, you will want to have at least one giant economy-sized box of tissues with you.

We give this book all five stars.

We were sent a complimentary copy of this book.  We are under no obligation to write any review, positive or negative.

We are disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission's 16 CFR, Part 255.

 




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Book Review: When You Lose Someone You Love written and illustrated By Joanne Fink

When You Lose Someone You Love 

Written and Illustrated by Joanne Fink

Get out the giant size box of tissues and grab your copy of When You Lose Someone You Love, written and illustrated by Joanne Fink. Prepare for a roller coaster of emotions.

This little book is designed to help one deal with the loss of a loved one.  

On our How to Manage Your Monkey website, we talk about preparing for retirement and making pre-need funeral arrangements.

But, it is impossible to plan emotionally for the loss of someone you love.  Even if their death is not a surprise, it is still hard to deal with their loss.

Perhaps When You Lose Someone You Love will help you, or someone you know, deal with a loss. There is no way to tell.  Each person is different and each loss is different.

That being said, we need to say that this little book is very well-written and helps reach those parts that are hurting and maybe helps someone who is grieving realize that their feelings, no matter what they are, are normal.

We give When You Lose Someone You Love all five stars.  We think for some people this will act like a salve to help soothe the hurts.  For others, it might not do anything.  

We suggest you buy a copy and read it before a loss takes place.  Keep a copy on hand and offer it to those you know who are going through a recent loss.

Like chicken soup when you are ill, it just might help and it probably won’t hurt. 

Note from Suz: I could relate to some of the issues and feelings Mrs. Fink shared in this book, though her loss was her husband. We are approaching the fifth anniversary of my daddy’s death. She shares some of her daughter’s words on the loss of her daddy. The wounds are still so raw from my own experience. I cried buckets reading parts of the song this girl wrote to her daddy.

This book doesn’t erase the pain. Nothing can ever fully do that, really. But, it offers understanding and a chance to not feel so alone in one’s grief.

We were sent a complimentary copy of this book.  We are under no obligation to write any review, positive or negative.

We are disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission's 16 CFR, Part 255.

Notice: This post contains affiliate links. If you click a link and make a purchase, we may financially benefit from your transaction, at no additional cost to you. Thank you for your support.
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Book Review: Jaybird’s Song By Kathy Wilson Florence

Jaybird’s Song

By Kathy Wilson Florence

If you like smiles, you’ll like this book. If you like books that make you cry, you’ll love this book.  All the way through, Jaybird’s Song was an emotional experience.

This book does a bit of time travel in that in one chapter, you’re in the turbulent 1960s and in the next chapter, you’re in 2003 and 2004.  This was a bit frustrating for me at first because I tend to prefer chronological order.  But, it grew on me and the back and forth rhythm became a bit of a comfort, a respite from the sad parts of one time frame or the other.

There are lots of smiles and tears shared, along with memories of events during the Civil Rights movement, integration, and personal family heartbreaks.  We get to witness some of the trials of the teenage years, some rather graphic, and those of the not-so-very young years.

Jaybird’s Song ultimately becomes about the struggle of the little girl inside of a hurting middle-aged woman, struggling to reconcile the love and the hurt of her family’s past and bringing that love - and forgiveness - forward to share with her children.

It is a great book and I give Jaybird’s Song all five stars. It has made me do a great deal of soul-searching myself.  Maybe it will do the same for you.

We were sent a complimentary copy of this book.  We are under no obligation to write any review, positive or negative.

We are disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission's 16 CFR, Part 255.

Notice: This post contains affiliate links. If you click a link and make a purchase, we may financially benefit from your transaction, at no additional cost to you. Thank you for your support.
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A Heavenly Birthday

Today is our Dorian's 24th birthday in Heaven.  She never breathed even her first here on this earth.

Here is a modified version of a poem that I wrote during what would have been her 4th Christmas season.

 Happy birthday, baby girl. We love and miss you very much.

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Book Review: Amazing Adventures with Dev: His Voice, My Voice, Our Voice By Melody L. Boulton and Devon Allen Merritt

Amazing Adventures with Dev: His Voice, My Voice, Our Voice

By Melody L. Boulton and Devon Allen Merritt

We were given a copy of Amazing Adventures with Dev: His Voice, My Voice, Our Voice by Melody L. Boulton and Devon Allen Merritt in consideration of a review.

Amazing Adventures with Dev is the story of a mother and her second son, their lives together, and the loss of his life to a rare lung condition at the age of 23 years.

This book elicited some very strong emotional responses from me, especially as I tried to share some of the scenes with others.  Having also lost a child, I can understand the devastation, confusion, the questions...the endless “whys”. I can understand one wondering how one can possibly continue on without this child (regardless of age) in it any longer.  I cannot judge the way another parent processes their grief.  Grief can do strange things to a person and make a person do strange things.

Some parts of Amazing Adventures with Dev may seem strange or too “out there” to many.  It talks of reincarnation, how our souls are eternal beings, how life goes on after the death of the earthly body.  But, she is also delves into astrology and meeting with mediums and other things that I cannot relate to at all.  These things may be a turnoff to other Christians as well.  

There is no doubt this mother loves her son and always will.  I can understand never wanting to lose that relationship.  There is a strong, almost overwhelming feeling that this love has turned from parental love to worship.   I can understand intense love and I don’t doubt that our loved ones watch over us from the other side.  It seems, though, that she has made a deity of Devon.  This part of the book made me very uncomfortable.

Amazing Adventures with Dev is a book that will definitely make you think. It gives plenty to ponder.  However, unless you are very well-grounded in your faith, it may cause confusion, and may not be the book for you.  If you are strong in your faith, then you will likely find it interesting to ponder the questions that it brings up.  Shared with others, it can lead to enlightening discussions.

Because I believe that calling on mediums goes against the teachings of the Bible, I cannot give the book all five points on our one-to-five scale. This book is well-written, with only a few areas missed by a proofreader.  I will give it a four because one sign of a good book is that it elicits strong emotional responses and Amazing Adventures with Dev most definitely achieved that!

Notice: This post contains affiliate links. If you click a link and make a purchase, we may financially benefit from your transaction, at no additional cost to you. Thank you for your support.
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Guest Post: Paw Pods Make It Easier to Say Goodbye to a Beloved Pet

Paw Pods Make It Easier to Say Goodbye to a Beloved Pet

Paw Pods are bio-degradable pods allowing owners to bury their pets at home with a dignified, beautiful memorial. The pods can be decorated with paints, markers or stickers giving children and adults a way to express their grief in an expressive and therapeutic form. A seeded leaf of perennial flowers is included with every pod. Its annual blooms create a living memorial to a treasured friend.

Paw Pods recognizes that beyond the unconditional, pure loyal love and joy pets give us, their carbon footprint on our planet is next to none, so their afterlife should follow suit. All pods and urns are eco-friendly and made of bamboo powder, rice husk, and corn starch, designed to respectively degrade in 3-5 years after being introduced to the environment. Additionally, pet owners sometimes mistakenly flush what they believe is a dead fish down the toilet, when it’s in fact, very much alive. Those fish often wind up in lakes and rivers where they can introduce diseases to native fish and water sources. Paw Pods’ Fish Pod offers a safer way to lay pet fish to rest.

Paw Pods are extremely affordable, ranging in price from $9.99 to $149.99, a fraction of what traditional pet caskets cost.

Paw Pods Come in a Variety of Sizes:

Fish Pod – The loss of a fish may be a child’s first experience with death. These small fish shaped pods can help them avoid the trauma of seeing a pet flushed down the toilet. This also may serve as an important teaching tool for parents, death can be very difficult to explain, let alone comprehend for young children, make them a part of the process.

Medium-Sized Pod – Accommodates medium-sized pets including rabbits, cats and smaller dogs. This size pod is the most commonly used.

 

Additional Sizes - They love all animals, from a tiny hermit crab to a majestic Great Dane,  Paw Pods offers sizes for almost all pets.

Heart Shaped Urn – When burial space is limited or cremation is preferred, the heart shaped urn is a lovely option and can also be used as a display. 

Anyone that has ever owned a pet, sought out on that adventure for companionship, to expand their homes and to open their hearts, find solace in knowing you are reciprocating that unequivocal love and friendship.  

A bit about Paw Pods – Paw Pods is a company of pet owners and pet lovers dedicated to helping other pet owners navigate the painful experience of losing a treasured animal friend. It was started as a way to help its founder deal with his own grief after losing two of his cherished dogs and being severely disappointed in the way in which they were returned to him.  

You may not need them right now; but they want to be there when you do. Visit http://pawpods.com/ for more information.

Notice: This post may contain affiliate links. If you click a link and make a purchase, we may financially benefit from your transaction, at no additional cost to you. Thank you for your support.
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Rest in Peace, Little Bit

Little Bit ©28 April 2017 Suzanne G. McClendon

I went outside this afternoon to check on Little Bit.  She was going to have babies and I wanted to keep up with when she had them and where.  What I found was not what I wanted to find. 

Little Bit ©12 April 2017 Suzanne G. McClendon

In the vines along the edge of our driveway, I found her lying still.  I was hoping that she was breathing.  She was not.  She and her babies had gone to the Bridge.

Little Bit ©14 January 2017 Suzanne G. McClendon

Just like with Callie, there was only one puncture wound. Callie's was on her chest.  Little Bit's was on her neck.  All we can figure is that it was a snake.  That was the only injury on her.  Any other animal, like those big dogs next door, would have torn her up.

Little Bit ©10 April 2017 Suzanne G. McClendon

Little Bit was a very special kitty. She acted more like a puppy than a kitty.  She came when I called her and followed me everywhere when I was outside.  Her favorite place was twirling around my legs.  She loved to help me take pictures, too.  Her opinion was the best pictures always included a cat face or tail, up close and personal.

Little Bit ©19 November 2016 Suzanne G. McClendon

I'm sure going to miss my Puppy-Cat.

Rest in peace, Little Bit and babies. 

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Rest in Peace, Sweet Callie

Callie, 16 January 2017

Today, we went out to walk the grand-dogger Petra and to water the tomatoes.  When I went to check on the plants in the backyard, I found our precious Callie had gone on over to the Bridge. :(

Callie in a Kitty Ball, 14 January 2017

There is what appeared to be a single, large fang mark in her chest, so we assume that a snake of some sort got her. We don't know why there isn't a second fang mark, but that isn't important. Our sweet baby is gone.

Callie, 10 February 2016

Rest in peace, Callie.

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