Book Review: It’s OK That You’re Not OK: Meeting Grief and Loss in a Culture That Doesn’t Understand by Megan Devine

It’s OK That You’re Not OK: Meeting Grief and Loss in a Culture That Doesn’t Understand by Megan Devine

Wow! It’s OK That You’re Not OK: Meeting Grief and Loss in a Culture That Doesn’t Understand by Megan Devine is an amazing book! It is one of the best books that I (Suzanne) have read on the topic of grief. It deals primarily with sudden, unexpected loss, but I believe it applies across the board. Losing a loved one is heart-wrenching, whether you know it is coming or not. But, when it happens unexpectedly, it puts it right in your face just how little control we have and how unpredictable life can be.

Reading this book was like meeting a new friend, one who understands how you feel because she has been there. She hasn’t been exactly where I’ve been, but she has had the rug pulled out from under her, too, and knows there’s no putting things back as they had been before.

Ms. Devine has helped me to not feel so alone in my unresolved grief. She knows it takes more than two weeks to grieve the loss of a loved one. Two weeks, two years, a lifetime, we don’t ever get over it. The loss becomes a part of who we are.

She has also taught me that how I have handled the grief of others, though my intentions were to try to comfort, did nothing but potentially cause more pain to the one suffering. I had no idea that when I shared my sorrow, in an effort to say “I understand,” it set up a grief competition of sorts and feelings of “This is about ME, not you. Why isn’t my grief important?”, and many other hurt feelings in the grieving person. I am working on changing the way that I deal with the grief of friends and acquaintances, in an effort to not cause further pain. I didn’t realize the effect my words were potentially having because I never took it as belittling my grief when others shared theirs.

This book is emotional, well-written, and the education in grief that we all need, most especially those in the mental health field.

If you have lost someone, if you have been expected to process it on their timeline instead of your own, you need this book, if for no other reason than to find someone else who truly understands your pain.

We give It’s OK That You’re Not OK five stars and then some. It is a great book and I am thankful to have had the opportunity to read it!

We were sent a complimentary copy of this book. We are under no obligation to write any review, positive or negative.

We are disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission's 16 CFR, Part 255.

Notice: This post contains affiliate links. If you click a link and make a purchase, we may financially benefit from your transaction, at no additional cost to you. Thank you for your support.


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Prayers, Please

We just found out that my Aunt Judy, Mama's youngest sister, passed away last night from pneumonia.  Please pray for my mama and her remaining siblings, but most of all, Aunt Judy's five sons and their families, as well as her former and current husbands.

Thank you.  Have a blessed day.





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Barbara Denise Oldham

Rest in peace, sweet Denise.  :(

Denise was such a devoted Christ-follower and bloggy friend, always leaving a comment for me. Then, she disappeared and I couldn't find her blog again. I knew that she had some significant health issues and have been worried about her. Something prompted me to look for her again this morning and this is what I found in her local newspaper...her obituary. :(

Heavenly Father, please give Denise a hug for me. I sure miss her.



Oldham, Barbara Denise

Press Release: Joni Eareckson Tada's Revised "When Is It Right to Die?" Answers Today's Questions about Assisted Suicide

Joni Eareckson Tada's Revised "When Is It Right to Die?" Answers Today's Questions about Assisted Suicide

   

        New Book Takes 'A Comforting and Surprising Look at Death and Dying'

   

GRAND RAPIDS, Mich., Oct. 23, 2017 – As Joni Eareckson Tada marked 50 years in her wheelchair this past July, she reflected on the many changes in society in these last few decades, especially toward those with disabilities. She realized developments in the assisted suicide movement since she first wrote "When Is It Right to Die?" in 1992 have greatly increased the danger to those who are most vulnerable, and it's more important than ever to rightly understand the meaning of true compassion for those who are disabled or dying. The updated book releases on January 30, 2018, from Zondervan.   

       

"In the last 25 years, I've ached as I've seen more and more people stand behind the idea that a person has the 'right to die,'" Tada said. "We are rapidly sliding down the slippery slope that advocates and families of people with disabilities have long feared and campaigned against.  Even now, it is having an alarming impact against the elderly and those with disabilities.

               

"That is why I have returned to this book. What these families need is not help in legalizing something that is not moral. They need respite and caring communities to provide personal help and a network of support. They need to know true compassion so they cannot possibly mistake a lethal prescription or a legal death decree as compassion."

               

Click image to view on Amazon.

The book includes about 25 percent new content and is divided into 3 sections addressing what it means to live well, what it means to choose and what it means to die. Each chapter includes real-life examples to illustrate Tada's points, as well as discussion questions at the end for readers to flesh out what choices they might make in similar situations, based on the information shared in the preceding pages.

               

Tada emphasizes that aid in dying is not to be confused with allowing someone who is already dying to do so peacefully. These are far different situations and both are specifically addressed in Scriptures. "The Bible teaches that any means to produce or hasten death in order to alleviate suffering is never justified," Tada explains. "However, letting someone die is another matter entirely. Allowing a person to die when he or she is, in fact, dying is justified."

               

Tada defines multiple terms related to life and death discussions, including euthanasia's historic and modern definitions and connotations. She clarifies "death with dignity," "aid in dying," and both quality and sanctity of life. She declares that decisions must be made based on the absolute value of life, reflecting the long-held ethic that human life holds complete worth without relationship to a person's functioning ability, rather than the relative value of life, which is appraised in relation to how much a person can or cannot do.

   

"The line of distinction is not so much between life and death as it is between life and dying, but because the people who are 'imminently dying' are unique, warm-blooded human beings with unique circumstances, it's often impossible to pin down exactly when the process of dying begins," Tada writes. "So when it comes to the 'pull the plug' question, don't waste your time looking for rules, three-step plans and a tidy list of dos and don'ts.

               

"Your process of making personal decisions is as close as your doctor, family and clergy. Insight for making distinctions can be drawn from the experience of a caring physician, the condition of the dying person, and the input of family and counselors who know the value of life," Tada continues. "Historically, life and death decisions have always been made this way."

   

       

   

For more information about "When Is It Right to Die?" visit http://www.zondervan.com/when-is-it-right-to-die.

   

       

           

Joni Eareckson Tada, the founder and Chief Executive Officer of Joni and Friends International Disability Center, is an international advocate for people with disabilities. A diving accident in 1967 left her, then 17, a quadriplegic in a wheelchair. After two years of rehabilitation, she emerged with new skill and a fresh determination to help others in similar situations. She founded Joni and Friends in 1979 to provide Christ-centered programs to special-needs families, as well as training to churches. Joni and Friends serves thousands of special-needs families through Family Retreat, and has delivered nearly 200,000 wheelchairs and Bibles to needy disabled persons in developing nations. Tada's lifelong passion is to bring the Gospel to the world's 1 billion people with disabilities. She survived stage-3 breast cancer in 2010, yet keeps a very active ministry schedule. She and her husband Ken were married in 1982 and reside in Calabasas, California. More information is available at www.joniandfriends.org.

       

           

       

            Zondervan, part of HarperCollins Christian Publishing, is a world leading Bible publisher and provider of Christian communications. For more than 80 years, Zondervan has delivered transformational Christian experiences through its bestselling Bibles, books, curriculum, academic resources and digital products. The company's products are sold in multiple formats, worldwide in more than 60 countries, translated into nearly 200 languages. Zondervan offices are located in Grand Rapids, Mich. For additional information, please visit http://www.zondervan.com.




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Product Review: Paw Pods

Paw Pods

Losing a pet is a very hard thing to do.  For most of us, our pets are family.  If only there were an affordable way to bury our little furry family with dignity and proper respect. 

Well, now there is.  The people over at PawPods have developed a biodegradable pet coffin designed to inter our loved ones in a way that is affordable and dignified. These pet coffins range from about $100-150 on Amazon.com.

No one wants to think about the time when our little family member will no longer be with us.  However, having a biodegradable way to protect them from other animals and the elements for a while is very comforting.  I wish we had one of these when we had to bury little Xerxes. It would have been much more comforting had we already had one on hand at the time. 

Paw Pods are made out of bamboo and rice and come with a sympathy card and seed packet as a way to remember our little fur babies. 

We were sent a complimentary Paw Pod.  We are under no obligation to write any review, positive or negative.

We are disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission's 16 CFR, Part 255.

Notice: This post contains affiliate links. If you click a link and make a purchase, we may financially benefit from your transaction, at no additional cost to you. Thank you for your support.
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Guest Post: Life Insurance Isn’t Always About Death; It’s Also A Retirement Tool

Life Insurance Isn’t Always About Death;

It’s Also A Retirement Tool

Many Americans view life insurance policies as a key part of their financial planning. But they tend to think in terms of how the insurance will benefit their survivors after they are in the grave – not how it might benefit themselves while they are very much alive.

If that’s the way they see it, though, they may be missing out on an additional way to help pay for retirement – something especially worth knowing if other investments go awry or a pension is non-existent.

“I think a lot of people are surprised to learn that their life insurance policy can help them handle expenses during retirement,” says Gary Marriage Jr., CEO of Nature Coast Financial Advisors. “They consider life insurance a death benefit. But it can be a lot more than that.”

How so?

Essentially like this, Marriage says: Over the years, a person pays premiums into a permanent life insurance policy with the intent to provide a death benefit as well as cash-value accumulation for as long as the policy remains in force.

If they reach retirement, and aren’t as concerned with the death benefit, they can withdraw from the insurance policy without paying taxes. Usually, you can withdraw up to the amount that you paid in premiums over the years, Marriage says.

Some other advantages include:

• Contribution limits don’t apply. The government puts a limit on how much money you’re allowed to contribute each year to an IRA. So your IRA is going to grow, but not to the degree that you would like. If you structure a life insurance policy so that it’s part of your retirement plan you don’t face those same dollar-amount limits, Marriage says.

• The cash value of the policy grows each year with interest, tax deferred. Investing in or purchasing a tax-deferred vehicle means your money can compound interest for years, free from income taxes, potentially allowing it to grow at a faster rate. And if you’re worried about the stability of the insurance company, the fact is insurance companies are some of the strongest financial institutions in the world.

• When you leave your children the money you’ve accumulated in an IRA, they have to pay taxes on it. But the beneficiaries of a life insurance policy don’t have to pay taxes.

• The federal government will penalize you if you withdraw money from an IRA or a 401(k) before you turn 59½. But if you need some of that life insurance money at an earlier age, you can withdraw without paying a penalty.  That’s a big advantage for those who suddenly find themselves in need of cash, but don’t want even more of their retirement savings to disappear into Uncle Sam’s coffers, Marriage says.

“It’s really important for people to take advantage of all the options they can when it comes to retirement,” Marriage says. “I think many people underestimate how much money they’ll need, often because they don’t take into account all the factors like taxes and inflation. Maybe you’d never have to tap into that life insurance policy and it can all go to your beneficiaries. But it would be nice to have it there in case the need arises.”

About Gary Marriage Jr.

Gary Marriage Jr. is the founder and CEO of Nature Coast Financial Advisors), which educates retirees on how to protect their assets, increase their income and reduce their taxes. Marriage is a national speaker, delivering solutions for pre-retirees, business owners and seniors on the areas affecting their retirement and estates. He is an approved member of the National Ethics Bureau, and has been featured in “America’s Top Hometown Financial Advisors 2011” and was selected to contribute to a book with Steve Forbes titled “SuccessOnomics: Power Principles” and became a “Best-Selling Author” as a result. Marriage is also the founder of Operation Veteran Aid, an advocate for war-time veterans and their families.

Notice: This post contains affiliate links. If you click a link and make a purchase, we may financially benefit from your transaction, at no additional cost to you. Thank you for your support.
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Tick-Tock

The clock is ticking
     The hammer swings
Leaving behind the minutes
     Pounding in the nails
Of my life
     Of my future
Memories ever unfolding
     Thoughts of never to be
Of lace and love and happy times
     Satin pillows, loose lain curls
When I was your new wife
     Sleeping peacefully for eternity.

©24 June 2010 Suzanne McClendon