I have the intention of joining a photography challenge called One Little Word Captured.
We choose a word that is our word for the year and share our progress in photographs. My word is: Freedom
In order to reach true freedom, there has to be self-acceptance. This is something that I am working on. I have never had a good self-image. I lack confidence and generally would rather be invisible. I'm a loner in many ways and pretty much have to be forced into interacting with people in the flesh.
I have fought against being in front of the camera for years. There are very few pictures of me as an adult because I absolutely do not like to be photographed. I do not want to do it, but I need to do it. I need to accept myself as I am and I need to have pictures of me for my children and their children to come.
Yesterday, I went out with my camera to take photos of myself. I wore my favorite green shirt. But, even with that, I wasn't so sure about taking pictures of myself.
My youngest daughter came to see what I was taking pictures of in our backyard. When she saw that I was shooting myself, she said "SMILE!" But no matter how big I smiled, it wasn't big enough to suit her :) and I still wasn't sure I wanted the camera to capture me anyway.
So, I decided if I can't be beautiful, I can be silly. With my baby girl around, that is very easy to do. :)
By the way, I'm thinking that maybe I shouldn't have done this shoot after all. It apparently was my camera's last time out and that 'last time' would have been so much better spent on roses.
Yes, I know. I have a long way to go on this road to freedom.
Please be sure to visit Jill's site: Life...As I See It to join in the fun!
PS! My youngest daughter assisted and took some of these shots. At this point, neither of us remember which ones I did and which ones she did. She's a mini-me, anyway. :)
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What a neat idea! I love that you took a leap of faith and that you equate that to freedom. I recently did something similar. I love to write, but sharing my fiction stories is something that has always been hard. I decided to jump in and put some on my blog. So far no one has thrown rotten tomatoes at me, so I'm doing okay. Freedom- yes, unlocking the chains we put around ourselves. I love the green shirt, by the way!
ReplyDelete@Karen Greenberg
ReplyDeleteHi Karen,
Thanks so much for commenting here (and liking my green shirt)! I just saw your post on BlogFrog, too. I appreciate that so much.
I love to write, too, and will visit your blog and read your stories. I won't throw any rotten tomatoes. :)
Thanks for the follow. I hope that you're having a great day!
Great photos! The 2nd shot is my favorite. And believe it or not the self portraits do get easier. Keep shooting!
ReplyDeleteThanks for linking up this week with OLW Captured :)
@jillconyers
ReplyDeleteThanks, Jill! The second shot is my favorite of all of them, too. :)
This is one of my favorite of your blog entries I've ever read, Sis. It makes me want to reach through the screen and hug you. Thank you for sharing yourself. I of all people know how hard that is. We were at the beach on Sunday afternoon and I was shooting pictures of Rosie and her friend and it hit me how seldom I ever allow photos to be taken of me. As we started to get into the car, I asked Rosie to take a picture of her daddy and me by the palm trees. I'm sure it surprised her, but she happily complied. I read once that we moms leave quite a legacy but so few visual images of ourselves. I've been trying harder to remedy that.
ReplyDeleteI love you, my dear Sis. Always.
Lisa
I love the evolution of the pictures from hidden to fully there. That is freedom, I think. After we finally lower our hands from covering our faces, we can let the world see us at the same time we see it. Keep your hands down, Beautiful, and let us see you.
ReplyDelete@Lisa Easterling
ReplyDeleteThank you so much, Sis, for such a sweet comment. I wish that I could reach through the screen and hug you, too. :)
I am glad that you let Rosie take a picture of you guys together. Where can I see it?
It looks like we're on this journey together. Thanks so much for following me here, too.
Love you, too, Sis. You're such a blessing to me. {{{hugs}}}
@Kelly
ReplyDeleteThank you so much, Kelly. :) It is much easier to be invisible. Thank you for your sweet comments. I sure don't feel beautiful. I just feel old...physically, not necessarily mentally. haha