Vision Post #1

I had this post all written in my head while in the kitchen. I came back in here and as soon as I got Word opened, poof! most of the post left me. I hate when that happens, don’t you?

Today is the month anniversary of my cataract diagnosis.  I am feeling an odd calm regarding my vision.  Not calm like I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that the surgery will happen, because I don’t.  The realist in me knows that fundraisers with an open or non-existent end date are less likely to be successful than those with a specific end date.  Also, I know that the longer a fundraiser goes on, the less likely it is to be successful.

This calmness is something different.  Yeah, I still have some moments of total and absolute panic when I think of going blind.  I also have those same moments of panic when I think of having the surgery.

This calm is different.   I have the vision that, somehow, everything is going to be okay even if the surgery never happens, even if I do go blind.

This calmness is helping me to focus on getting some things done that have been the victim of too much procrastination.  It is helping me to see the importance of doing things NOW and not putting them off until later.  Later may be too late and I’ve never liked to be late for anything. Ever.

“Surefire things are deadening to the human spirit.”  

Dorothea Lange

I think that is what has happened here. If surefire things are deadening, then logic would have it that uncertainty is quickening. There is nothing “surefire” about my situation and it has prompted me to take risks that I have been too afraid to take before.

And I feel more alive than ever.


Image source: Pixabay
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One Word 365

For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.
2 Timothy 1:7 KJV

Rumor has it that the Bible instructs us at least 365 times not to be afraid. We are to have faith. If we're truly trusting that He has it covered, then we won't have fear. That looks really good on paper, but is harder to grasp in the realness of life.

We're human, we're faulty, and we fear the unknown. This life is full of unknowns. As we face these unknowns, we need to hold onto the fact that these things that are unknown to us are not unknown to Him. He knows what lies ahead. He knows that He is there for us. He may not prevent what is coming our way, but we are to have faith that He will be with us through it, whatever that "it" is. He didn't create us to be afraid, but to be faithful and to lean on Hiim.

With that in mind, my One Word for 2013 is Fearless.