01 June 2014

The Sun Has Gone

The sun that brought hope
Has gone from my sky.
The storm clouds rise
The rain pours down
As I break down and cry.

©2014 Suzanne G. McClendon

A tribute to our son, David, Jr., who has just left for the US Marine Corps.


Today has been a very difficult day. Our youngest son has left for the US Marine Corps. He was my miracle baby and it is so hard to let him go.

Just over 21 years ago, I prayed desperately for Heavenly Father to give me another baby. Our other two children were six and two at the time. I had the "I want a baby" urges really, really strongly. Heavenly Father heard my prayers and I became pregnant. However, she was not meant to be in my arms on this earth and she was stillborn 15 July 1993 after the health care people said that I was not pregnant. I was devastated and so hurt and angry. I could not understand why the medical people wouldn't listen to me and how Heavenly Father could give her to me just to take her before she even breathed her first breath. I guess those are things that I will never understand.

This brought on baby fever even stronger. Within six weeks, I was pregnant again. As with my other pregnancies, I knew the gender of the baby and that I was carrying a son. I was scared to death that something would cause me to lose him, too. We still didn't know (and don't to this day) what caused Dorian to be stillborn. Every little twinge that came along, I just knew that I wouldn't have this baby either. I am glad that I was wrong.

Going into delivery, I was scared to let him go. In my confused and depressed mind at the time, letting go, allowing him to leave my body meant that I was losing him. I used all of what little strength I had trying to fight the birth and to keep him inside of me. The little guy's head was born approximately twenty times before I just could not fight it any longer. He was born and on his due date.

He is my miracle baby because Heavenly Father gave him to me in my heartache and let me keep him.

Now, twenty years later, I am forced to let him go. Never in his life has my son gone with complete strangers or been gone somewhere that I could not contact him or where he could not contact me whenever he wanted to do so. This is new to both of us. His daddy and I are beside ourselves. There's not a dry eye in our house.

This is the boy that was trained, along with his baby sister, to be a puppy by their older sister...and the boy that did the peanut butter dance on the dining room table with his little sister when they were toddlers.

Please pray that he will remain safe in his new adventure and will come back home to us as healthy as when he left this afternoon. Also, please pray for those that remain here in our home. This year holds a lot of changes for all of us and most especially for our youngest daughter. She's never known life without Davey. They are my almost-Irish twins, born thirteen months apart. As with me, it is like a big part of herself has walked out the door and the future is so uncertain.


11 comments:

  1. Aw....with teardrops falling I offer you a virtual hug. I remember my first son leaving home and how I thought the world had ended. Of course it hadn't. But it felt that way. I had a stillbirth baby girl in October 1974 and then went on to have my youngest son the very next October. My miracle baby!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. {{{Paula}}} I am sorry that you, too, have experienced the loss of a baby. I am also glad that Heavenly Father gave you a miracle baby. There's just nothing like our miracle babies, is there?

      Thank you for your virtual hug and for stopping by and commenting, most especially for understanding what I'm feeling right now.

      Have a great week!

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  2. Bless your dear heart. Prayers being said for your family.

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    Replies
    1. Thank you, Denise. I appreciate your prayers so very much. You're such a blessing to me.

      Thanks for stopping by and commenting. Have a great week!

      Delete
  3. Losing a child is traumatic. My heart goes out to you. Your son is doing a noble thing - going into service for our country. God kept him safe once and allowed you to keep him. He will do that again. I pray that your son will be kept safe during his service and will come home healthy when his time is over. Thank you for his service.
    Mary @ The View from my World

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    Replies
    1. Thank you, too, Mary. I appreciate your words of encouragement and comfort very much. Our Davey is following a long line of military members in our family. Members of our family have been in service to this country for over 200 years. Of all of those men (and women) that have gone before him, I think that he is the first Marine in our family.

      Thank you for your prayers for our son's safety and health. Thanks also for stopping by and commenting. Have a great week!

      Delete
  4. Hi. I know how you feel. My daughter left for Parris Island on Dec 2 last year and graduated Feb. 21st. 3 of the longest months of our lives. She is now in her MOS school and it's much easier, but not easy. Write letters like crazy! Believe me, the pride you feel will overwhelm you. If you haven't heard of it, this site helped me. They will have a group specific to your sons Company and Platoon as well as a general one for recruit parents, a wealth of help, support and information. Do check it out.

    http://marinefamilynetwork.com/

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you for your encouragement. It looks like we're in this together then, both of our young people choosing the Marines. How is your daughter liking it?

      Thank you for the link that you've shared. I will check them out. I also found one that you might be interested in if you haven't heard of it already. It is called Operation Gratitude. Here is the link:
      http://www.operationgratitude.com/

      Thanks for stopping by and commenting. Have a great week!

      Delete
    2. You're Welcome! And thank you, I'll check it out : ) Feel free to email me any time if you have questions or just want to vent. If there's any info or insight I can be helpful with, I'd be happy to.

      She likes being a Marine but is anxious to get her MOS training over with and get busy. Her job requires a lot of school training, so it will be fall before she's in the fleet.

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  5. I'm back again. The site can be a little overwhelming so I got you the link to find the recruit groups easier. You do have to join the site to join groups but it is worth it. Prayers for you and your son, and Semper Fi : )

    http://marinefamilynetwork.com/page/recruit-bootcamp

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks! Our prayers are going up for you and your daughter as well.

      Oorah and Semper Fi to you, too. :)

      Delete

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