The Sun Has Gone

The sun that brought hope
Has gone from my sky.
The storm clouds rise
The rain pours down
As I break down and cry.

©2014 Suzanne G. McClendon

A tribute to our son, David, Jr., who has just left for the US Marine Corps.


Today has been a very difficult day. Our youngest son has left for the US Marine Corps. He was my miracle baby and it is so hard to let him go.

Just over 21 years ago, I prayed desperately for Heavenly Father to give me another baby. Our other two children were six and two at the time. I had the "I want a baby" urges really, really strongly. Heavenly Father heard my prayers and I became pregnant. However, she was not meant to be in my arms on this earth and she was stillborn 15 July 1993 after the health care people said that I was not pregnant. I was devastated and so hurt and angry. I could not understand why the medical people wouldn't listen to me and how Heavenly Father could give her to me just to take her before she even breathed her first breath. I guess those are things that I will never understand.

This brought on baby fever even stronger. Within six weeks, I was pregnant again. As with my other pregnancies, I knew the gender of the baby and that I was carrying a son. I was scared to death that something would cause me to lose him, too. We still didn't know (and don't to this day) what caused Dorian to be stillborn. Every little twinge that came along, I just knew that I wouldn't have this baby either. I am glad that I was wrong.

Going into delivery, I was scared to let him go. In my confused and depressed mind at the time, letting go, allowing him to leave my body meant that I was losing him. I used all of what little strength I had trying to fight the birth and to keep him inside of me. The little guy's head was born approximately twenty times before I just could not fight it any longer. He was born and on his due date.

He is my miracle baby because Heavenly Father gave him to me in my heartache and let me keep him.

Now, twenty years later, I am forced to let him go. Never in his life has my son gone with complete strangers or been gone somewhere that I could not contact him or where he could not contact me whenever he wanted to do so. This is new to both of us. His daddy and I are beside ourselves. There's not a dry eye in our house.

This is the boy that was trained, along with his baby sister, to be a puppy by their older sister...and the boy that did the peanut butter dance on the dining room table with his little sister when they were toddlers.

Please pray that he will remain safe in his new adventure and will come back home to us as healthy as when he left this afternoon. Also, please pray for those that remain here in our home. This year holds a lot of changes for all of us and most especially for our youngest daughter. She's never known life without Davey. They are my almost-Irish twins, born thirteen months apart. As with me, it is like a big part of herself has walked out the door and the future is so uncertain.