09 December 2011

Cross-Post: Duggars, Children, and Loss

The news is spreading about the loss of the Duggar family's twentieth child. Some people are saying some pretty cold and nasty things out there. One thing that I'm wondering: does it make the loss of a child any less of a loss of life just because we may or may not agree with a person's reproductive beliefs/practices?

What makes the loss of this child any less a loss because they were number twenty rather than number two and subject to vile statements of total disregard for the grief that this family is suffering right now?

Are we supposed to lack normal human decency and compassion just because we can't grasp children as a blessing or have faith that Heavenly Father takes care of His own?

If most of us look back in our family trees we will see at least sixteen great-great-grandparents were there at some point otherwise we wouldn't be in existence. I have never heard, in all of my forty-six years, anyone say upon the death of a grandparent "Well, you shouldn't have had so many grandparents in the first place. You didn't need that one." Nobody says that, yet they think it is perfectly fine to make such comments upon the loss of a child, like any of the others will cover the loss of the one.

It just totally dumbfounds me that people can be so heartless and cruel and solely because they don't think that people should have more than one or two children.

I would like to suggest that, in spite of differences in beliefs over reproduction, we see this for what it is: the loss of a child. Plain and simple, the death of a loved one. I would like to ask that we all keep this family in our prayers for comfort during their time of grief as well as for the compassion for mankind that our Heavenly Father calls us to have.

164. What I am thankful for today:

...the children that Heavenly Father has allowed me to have and for those awaiting me in Heaven.
...those that have shown compassion to me during my times of grief.
...those that stand by their convictions in the face of objections.
...a full calendar where two days ago were blanks.
...the new year soon to come.
...the rain and cooler weather that we've had lately.
...varying perspectives to help me make the right decision in any given situation.


  1. I agree with you that a loss of a child is a grievous thing. Every child is a gift from God. I too am thankful for the future, that is another gift of God.

  2. Do you know that when I was pregnant with our sixth, an aunt called me and said that she thought that the Chinese had the right idea limiting families to one child. Then someone asked if I would love a sixth child? It never fails to amuse me that people say what they do. I knew those poor people would get comments instead of people seeing that they lost a child.

  3. @ArtyMarti

    Thanks, Marti. I agree that children are a gift. Sometimes it takes awhile to realize just how much it is so. Often times it is we learn from them rather than the other way around.

    Thanks for commenting. I hope that you have a wonderful day!

  4. @Farm Girl

    Wow, I am so sorry that your aunt said such a thing to you! How sad and hurtful. :(

    I wonder why the person called into question the ability to love a 6th child? They must not understand that our hearts expand to fit and aren't limited to "oh, you can only love this amount and nothing more." What a sad thought if it were to work like that, eh?

    We can only hope and pray that people will stop and think before they say such hurtful things. Miracles do still happen.

    Thank you so much for stopping by and commenting. I hope that you have a wonderful day!


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