28 August 2013

#Gratitude Challenge Day 14

This is a 14-day gratitude challenge. You can read more about it here: Personal Excellence.

Day 14: Give Thanks for Your Mistakes

Two mistakes stand out to me right now. One ended a friendship; the other one ended up being a fatal for another person...a child.

Many years ago, probably nearly fifteen years at this point, I made a comment on an e-mail list that I was on. It was taken badly by someone and she attacked my parenting abilities. This woman had recently gone through a brutal divorce. In my moment of rage, I retaliated with, "Well, at least I have a husband to help with my children!" I felt horrible about having said such a thing to her, but I had already hit Send, so what else could I do but immediately send an apology. She never responded to my apology and I sent several after that. I never heard from her again. While I still feel badly about having said such a thing to an also hurting sister, I felt that I had done all that was required of me. I sent her a genuine apology. The rest was up to her.

Three things that I learned from this experience:

1. I should not respond to something that I disagree with right away.
2. I should pray before I respond to hurtful things.
3. Some friendships aren't necessarily forever and some hurts just can't be "gotten over".

In the fatal situation, I acted, or more to the point, didn't act, out of fear. I was afraid that I would be seen as crazy. The Holy Spirit clearly laid a message on my heart involving a child that was very sick, unbeknownst to her parents. I was afraid to tell them of the prompting, so I didn't tell them right away. Her health was degrading and, finally, I just couldn't stand it any longer. I couldn't continue to keep to myself what was becoming more and more evident as each day passed. At my urging, they took the child for further testing and she was found to have cancer. She died a little more than a year after the diagnosis. I should have spoken up the moment Heavenly Father laid the prompting on my heart. I should have trusted Him, as well as my relationship with this child's mother and told her right away. I didn't. Maybe this little one would have passed away even with earlier notice, but she wasn't given that opportunity because I kept quiet out of fear. Her mother forgave me years ago, but I will carry this guilt to my own grave.

Three things that I learned from this experience:

1. I should have faith and respond immediately to the promptings of the Holy Spirit.
2. When something involves the health and/or safety of a child, I should speak up, no matter the potential outcome for myself.
3. Some friendships can overcome anything, even indescribable, devastating pain.


Daily Journaling: Three Things I Am Thankful for Today

1. I am thankful for friendships that can stand the test of time and torment.
2. I am thankful that JM was allowed the time that she had on this earth and wish that it could have been much longer.
3. I am thankful for forgiveness from others, even when I can't forgive myself.

2 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. Thank you, Denise. I have enjoyed doing this challenge. Have a blessed week!

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