Middle of Life

Years ago, a dear friend of mine - Lisa Easterling - sent a list of great prompts. One of them is as follows:

What is at the middle of your life today?

Easy - mid-life is at the middle of my life today. Mid-life and all the joys that come with shifting hormones, insecurities, and more life behind me than in front of me. I know that doesn't make sense. Mid-life should mean the middle, with as much before me as behind me. It doesn't seem to work that way, though.

If I follow the family tradition of seventy-six years being our life expectancy, then there are thirty years ahead of me. Thirty years of knowing that this once strong body has been weakened. Thirty years of knowing that my days of being able to compete are over. Thirty years of wondering what or who is going to come along and knock me off course - again.

Or maybe not.

Maybe it will be thirty years of happy times in spite of the weakened body. Thirty years of regaining strength. Thirty years of regaining memory rather than losing more of it. Thirty years of watching new people come into the family via birth and marriage. Thirty years more spent with the people that I love.

Then there's the good-byes.

The same sweet friend that gave me this prompt all those years ago said something to me this morning that gave me a wake-up call of sorts. She said "don't claim" a particular ill that has been on my mind. It hadn't dawned on me that by worrying about it that was exactly what I was doing. I was claiming this ill that I fear. Fear leaves no room for faith and I have to have faith that His will be done. Fear leaves no room for joy.

Thank you, Sis. I will pray against it instead of claiming it. Thanks for the kick in the perspective. :)

I choose joy.

In the middle of my life there will be joy.