27 May 2011

Five Minute Friday: On Forgetting

The following prompt came to me via Five Minute Friday on The Gyspy Mama blog.

I am always forgetting things and sometimes forgetting people, or at least where I left them, so that I often don't end up at the right building to retrieve them at the appointed time.

It is getting pretty scary for me, this forgetting. A while ago, I had to sign a paper and I signed my maiden name instead of the married name that I've had for over 26 years now. How weird is that?

My maternal grandma had Alzheimer's Disease. She would forget things. She would remember things. You never really knew what you were going to get, the remembering or the forgetting. From what I was told, the signs were there in Grandma's late 40s. I am almost 46 years old...this isn't lost on me.

I might lose my keys and not even remember having them in my hand, though I know I drove the car just moments before. Some time periods are total blanks. Something had to happen during that time, but I have no clue what.

There are big spaces, really big as in years, in my childhood that are a blur. Worse than a blur, actually. I can't even see the blurry screen of those memories. Nothing is there. It is like someone erased the tape of parts of my life that I knew happened because they had to happen for other things to happen, but I don't remember them at all. Nothing. Total blankness.

It is scary, this forgetting.

8 comments:

  1. That forgetting sounds scary...
    praying for you and hoping you find the help you need.

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  2. I'm so glad I'm not the only one with memory problems. I liked this post. I don't think you should worry too much. I heard a doctor explain once that Alzheimer's is not where you parked your car but knowing that something goes inside it to make it start and you can't remember what it is.

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  3. Guess what? At your age my friends, family nd me went through the same thing..we have Alzheimer's in the family..anyway it turns out that menopause and perimenopause causes the same thing..the good news is that it does pass..takes a few years after menopause but it does pass...it's not a guarntee but it is nice to know there is another logical answer..hang in there!

    ReplyDelete
  4. My grandfather had Alzheimer's too, and now my dad freaks out every time he forgets something. But he's forgetting things we all forget sometimes, like a word or what time an appointment is, etc. I like what "withoutado" said. Praying for you now, too.

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  5. @Stacey Dawn

    Thank you, Stacey. Sometimes it is pretty scary. Sometimes it is kind of funny, but mostly it is scary because I remember what Alzheimer's did to my grandma and how some people treated her because of her condition. I don't want to be deserted or devalued just because I can't/don't remember.

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  6. @withoutado

    Thank you. I like that explanation of it...and I've had that situation, too. Not so much forgetting about "it" being a key, but getting to a stop light and suddenly having no clue what I'm supposed to do next. I am hoping this is just residual effects of the severe anemia and will pass.

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  7. @bridgesburning

    Thank you. You know, this is a viable consideration. I have been dealing with severe anemia and I don't rule that out as part of this. But, I also had a hysterectomy this past October. Ovarian function was fine then and they left them in. Maybe, though, they have now started the process of menopause and so that is why my memory is freaking out right now. That very well may be the issue. This is encouraging, especially since you said it will pass. Thank you!

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  8. @Caroline

    Thank you, Caroline. I am sorry about your grandpa and hope that your daddy will be ok.


    Thank you to all of you for the concern, prayers, and for stopping by and commenting on my post. I appreciate that very much!

    ReplyDelete

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